Chaos

There is a voice screaming inside me. Questioning my actions. Asking me to stop. Change. But the mind is beyond my control. It comes up with the most believable explanations and kills all reason. I am falling. It is making me suffer. Yet there seems no way out.

Have always believed I know what I want to do in life. But suddenly I am not sure. All kinds of questions are cropping up. Is that what I really want to do? Am I good enough? Am I prepared for the sacrifices it entails? Do I have an option?

I have made new "friends". People who "care". People for whom I believe I "care". Do they? Do I ?

I hate looking in the mirror. I hate myself.

There is a baraat passing under my house's window right now. My feet are tapping. My head is bursting. I have tears in my eyes.